CHILDREN IN THE SANCTUARY, HOW?
The first step is to pray together as parents as to what your vision is. As for us, we attend any and all services as a family, my oldest daughter leads worship with my oldest son for a youth service on Wed nights, so guess where the rest of us are on Wed nights? Yep, all in the youth service. Same for other times. We don't send any of the children to "other classes" or SS or VBS. Occasionally I will speak at a women's event in which case most of our daughters will come with me, and the rest stay with daddy. Or if hubby is preaching in the prison the children are with me. When we are all in service together the children worship during worship and pay attention during preaching. Now of course you don't have to have the same standards or ways as we do, you need to set those for yourselves, BUT YOU MUST BE CONSISTENT! I don't allow any child of mine over the age of 3 to sleep during service, younger ones are welcome to. I don't allow any child to sit during worship without a real good reason (like holding a sleeping baby). We all sit together and we pretty much are together during worship. we believe in lively worship so if hubby decides to find a little more dancing room he will take a little one with him. Our Jacob is 4 and he dances and worships will all his might when focused. That is the key, keeping them focused. I will also share in a moment what hinders that focus. Mercy is our youngest (20 months) and I even have her worshipping with her little hands up and dancing. Now there is a big difference in playing and worshipping, and you must have discernment. You don't want to quench their spirits but Jesus time is not play time with us. During worship I will let Mercy down to worship but if she starts to stray or lose focus I will pick her up and hold her. Can you "make a child worship"? No, you can't, it is something that comes from the heart. But you can put them in the right position. Sitting under a pew with a gameboy is NOT the right position. Standing next to daddy who is worshipping with all his heart is the right position. Laying down chewing gum is not the right position. (I think maybe gum was invented by the enemy!) Sitting on the back row with a bunch of rebellious teens is NOT the right position. Baby in momma's arms looking up at momma with her eyes closed and one hand reached toward heaven while other is cuddling baby is the right position. See what I mean? Put them in the right position. Encourage them to worship, show them that it is the most important part of their life, that it is not worthless time spent. Worship with them at home. The absolute best way to teach a child the right way to behave is by doing it yourself. The will learn from example faster than anything. Even if it isn't something you are doing, if you condone it in those around you, your children will imitate it. So always carefully seek the Lord on your own behavior. OK, now to the preaching time. How many of us have had a child repeat something back to us that we thought he wasn't even paying attention to? I know my little Mercy and Jacob have astounded me at how they repeat phrases from their siblings or even Jim and I. So what makes us think that they can't glean something from good preaching? We have a video about Solomon, not a cartoon but a pretty true accounting of his life movie, tastefully done. Well when Jacob was about 2 he came up and quoted something word for word out of that movie. He has always done things like that. That is a VERY good reason to watch what goes into little ears, but that is another article. My point is, he will not only learn from an adult sermon but he will quote it to others! So make sure you are sitting under anointed preaching that lines up with what you believe, because your children WILL pick it up. So during service we don't allow toys, or drawing, they sit and pay attention. Often it is daddy preaching, and I have all the children to myself, sometimes my older ones will be ministering also with him. SO THERE HAS TO BE ORDER!! Because this momma can't live with chaos! So how do you teach all this. Do it at home. If possible start with new baby. We have a family service every day. this is not practice it is the real thing. We have changed from one thing to another over the years, at present we gather, talk about dreams, the previous day, what is going on with everybody, then we read (Beau reads aloud) a chapter from the bible. Then daddy applies that to our life. It is a real good time, but also an opportunity to teach proper behavior for church. With a new baby I suggest holding them, not passing around, but just momma or older sister just holding them. If you are in a setting where you can discreetly nurse then that is wonderful. The point is for the baby to feel closeness and love at this time. A baby sling is wonderful for church. In my opinion church time is the worst time to pass around a baby. You are just setting up for a fussy child. As the baby begins to get a voice gently show them a "shush" signal, finger over lips or whatever, and comfort them quietly. Then as baby begins to want to get around they should already be accustomed to being held during service. My goal when they are babies is to "dance them to sleep" after about the first or second song of worship with me holding them. Then they sleep through preaching. But what if you have toddlers and 5 or 6 or 7 yr olds who have always played during church? Well the first step is to repent that you have given them the wrong impression of church. Because by your actions (even maybe not meaning to) you have shown them that Jesus is not real important, so just go play. Sorry if that hurts but it is true. So where to start? Well first repent, then start at home. Tell them that Jesus is the most important part of their life and why. Discuss their needs, everybody has needs, and how Jesus meets those needs. Then tell them what you expect out of them during a church service. Then do it at home. It is of course ideal for daddy to lead, so if at all possible rearrange your schedule for this to happen. If that doesn't work then momma can do it, Timothy's mother taught him just fine so don't let that stop you! The first service could be just a song, or 1 verse from the bible, or a prayer. Let the Lord lead you, but have the children behaving the same way YOU want them to at church. The second day and so on gets a little longer until you are doing all that the Lord leads you to, and they are acting right. I will give you a tip, I would hold back on the jumping shouting praise until they understand being still first. Other wise you will have wild hyper children swinging off the chandeliers all in the name of Jesus but it will really be just foolishness. THAT is a major distraction!! So teach them to quietly worship first. Other distractions that hinder their focus are children with toys, discreetly move to another row if you normally sit by a family that does this. Or even paper and drawing, doodling, do you think the disciples were doodling when Jesus preached? Another distraction is food, only for a toddler will I bring a snack and even then only for that age when they are learning what "shush" means, sometimes it is easier to give them an animal cookie then to have them out preach the preacher. Even so for drinks or snacks don't bring a whole bag full of choices, you will find yourself playing waitress and miss the whole message. Our bag has a sippy cup with water and a baggy of animal cookies, although Mercy has not used either much lately. No toys. If somebody acts up they are promptly taken outside, and usually disciplined. Never, never take them out and give a goody or allow them to play. It is so much better if they never know that the church has a roomful of toys called a nursery. Also, we have gotten to the point where my older children are so much help, but in their helping they must adhere to my rules. More than once Mercy has wanted a sibling to hold her thinking they would let her down to play. This causes a little bit of a set back for me as I have go back and unteach . So make sure there is consistency. With April playing with the worship team, I am most times there 2 or 3 hours early so don't use your ministry commitments as an excuse, it can still be done. Church can be a wonderful experience for all or it can be a terrible experience for all, it is pretty much up to you.
love to all, Penny
PS , I welcome questions